pet the sweaty things..just don’t sweat the petty things

 Now, that’a a gross saying. I am genuinely a very positive person.  Amiable to a fault, even. But being the human that I am, I sometimes let life’s little annoyances build up until some tiny trigger releases them. Then, it’s not pretty. So I decided, maybe what I needed to do was to sit down and create a list of all of life’s little annoyances, as they build up, then I could just blog them out into the greater web-sphere. There, they would be released like some huge, ugly  petty, gas cloud and I would be relieved. Giving no further thought about the consequence of such web pollution, or what I might be doing environmentally to the e-zone, I set about to do just that.  So, here is a list of my latest pet peeves. 

• all those annoying cutesy name combos to describe Hollywood types – such “JenniferBennifer aka jenben” or ”TomKat” for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  Ahh!….that really annoys me. Who gives a flying  freak about either of them. I could go a lifetime without worrying about their  wedding, what they are wearing,  caring (or not)  about them, or whether  I ever get to see their baby or not!
• actress, Salma Hayek   - now she really annoys me. Especially irritating is the fact that she cannot speak proper English. This is not an anti-hispanic sentiment. I have many Spanish friends and acquaintances that I greatly respect and admire. It is very difficult to come to a new country and learn a whole new language. Salma, on the  other hand,  was raised very wealthy in TX and attended the best catholic private schools before going to Hollywood. She has been in America her entire life, so why can’t she speak the language? Her hair commercials drive me over the edge when she swings her hair and exclaims “and you’ll love the kuhl-loor instead of color. Reportedly she is a spoiled hot head, who was thrown out of the best private schools in TX, by nuns, for her alleged behavioral problems…gee, no surprise there. Lets see, she was raised in the USA in TX, her mother’s family is Mexican, her father, Lebanese, she went to college only a little while before dropping out,  initially had a hard time in hollywood finding work, because of her limited English skills. You’d think she would get the hint and pick up an “English for Dummies” book.
• annoying T.V. commercials like the headache commercial. Head-On. “Apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead, apply directly to the forehead”…..(need I say more – how annoying!)
• I love Star Trek: the Next  Generation…but when brit actor Patrick Steward “the captain” says ”shed-u-ul”  instead of schedule…it annoys me. I love the brits and I know that is how they say schedule….but it still annoys me. I don’t know why.
• along the same annoying “brit” theme. I find Indian (Hindi) IT companies especially annoying who try to pose as American run companies and who post websites full of grammatical errors and misspellings. Take the word, organization for example. They like to spell it organisation. You will see their websites full of pictures with blue-eyed blonde typical Americans, and then find their content loaded with  words like developement (with an “e”) instead of development, etc. Now, I’m aware of  history and that they were, at one time, ruled and schooled, by the Brits as a British colony which could account for their written English style , so why this bothers me, I do not know. Maybe it is the whole poser thing. Why not just say we are an Indian owned and run company, trying to present ourselves as an American owned company, so that we can get your business and then take the jobs over to India to screw Americans out of their jobs. Ouch, in case you might think, again, that I am just  prejudiced..think again. I worked for an Indian company, respected them for their hard work ethic, trusted them, was gracious and open minded enough to learn all about their culture, the significance of their special holidays, etc. and was still screwed. Prejudiced? no. Burnt? – yeah, maybe. I don’t like dishonesty,  misrepresentation and under handedness.
• political correctness -   I guess you can already tell, I am not into that. I have so had it with the whole political correctness thing. Americans have to get away from that and start calling  things as they see them..then if what is said, is deemed inappropriate,  they can then enter a legitimized debate about whether their views are correct or not. Let’s just stop tiptoeing all over the place around all of our own words. Just take this basic example: the term “calling a spade a spade” – this term can’t be used anymore in politically correct circles in fear it may offend our fellow Black Americans.

What is the origin of the expression “call a spade a spade”? Is this a politically correct expression? I’m going to go into a little detail here, because I used this phrase recently, and was told (for the sake of PC) I should not. augh!

Let’s get two things straight here: first, the expression to call a spade a spade is thousands of years old and etymologically has nothing whatsoever to do with any racial sentiment. The second is that in spite of this, some people think it is a racial statement, and therefore it should be treated with some caution. WRONG! This is where I disagree. Let’s not reinvent history, trip up around our words so that we may or may not potentially offend someone. The term is a basic euphemism that means “plain speaking” calling something as you see it, stating the obvious, etc., like calling the kettle black – but you can’t say that any more either. To call a “spade a spade”,  means, ‘to speak plainly and bluntly; or to speak without euphemisms’, it is first found in Ancient Greece. The exact origin is uncertain; the playwright Menander, in a fragment, said “I call a fig a fig, a spade a spade,” but Lucian attributes the phrase to Aristophanes. Later, Plutarch notes that “The Macedonians are a rude and clownish people who call a spade a spade.” (It is worth noting that the Greek word translated as “spade” seems actually to mean something like “bowl” or “trough”; the “spade” may be based on a Renaissance mistranslation. In this case the original expression was “to call a bowl a bowl,” and thus the “spade” expression is “only” 500, rather than 2,500, years old.) Now as for me, when using that term, I do not reach that far back into Greek history.   Me, considered a rude American ”cowboy” as some Europeans describe us Americans,  simply liken the expression “calling a spade a spade” to the spade in a deck of cards. Like the hands played in an old western movie. Obviously, the color of the  spade on a deck of cards is black. So calling a spade a spade to me, is just a way of  stating the obvious about something or “calling like it is”. It is what it is – it has no greater significance or slander associated with it.

• Profiling  – Don’t even get me started on the subject of “profiling.”  Law enforcement for years have posted their “Most Wanted” flyers in post offices, or wherever they deemed necessary listing the description of wanted criminals. The description of the wanted suspect might read: ”suspect is five feet tall, light complexioned,  has a scar on his right cheek, tends to walk with a limp, may be armed and dangerous, and so on. That is vital  information made available to the public, for the purposes of identification,  public awareness, and  safety. Now today, in a post 9/11 world,  a bunch of would be terrorist,  cannot be singled out for their appearance (even though they may  be acting suspicious), nor  identified by their modus operandi. Instead we have long delays in our airports, serviced by  inept airport  personnel, singling out little innocent grannies,  searching through their luggage looking for suspicious bombs or what ever. Now, isn’t that stupid? How many terrorist were of Middle Eastern descent, paying cash for one way fares, acting nervous, etc.? But, we cannot pull them aside and single them out less we be accused of profiling! This is bull****! I give our Israeli friends big kudos for having the most effective airport security in the world. (check the statistics) It is said of the Israeli’s,  that they do not center their security screenings on potential weapons (like checking if you are carrying over 3 ounces of perfume or aftershave) rather they center on “who it is that may be carrying the weapons” in other words – they profile and they are much safer for it! Enough said? I think so. I am so over PC (political correctness) that I feel like the guy in the movie, “Network”. “We’re mad as hell and we’re not taking it anymore.”
• Another annoying commercial -the gecko in the Geico commercials.  I like the little lizard, but why is he an Aussie now? Do they really think we Americans are that enamoured over an Aussie accent that we will endure such senseless ramblings that do not have anything to do with anything (like Geico or insurance?) Lines like: “of course I’ll babysit your children..I think of you as me brother” and dumb stuff like that? Another annoying commercial is the big plastic head of the “Burger King” guy.  Don’t they have enough money to come up with a better costumed mascot than that? …and the latest marketing debacle is constantly using phrases that sound like curse words (but really aren’t) for instance: ”great ”huckin” chicken or the commercial with the guy who looks like a used car salesmen saying, “your full of “sit”, I’m full of “sit”, we’re all full of “sit”. I thought Burger King’s market was families and families typically embrace “family values.” It has to make you think, what was their marketing team thinking of? The commercials suck and they should all be fired.
• misc. celebs that annoy me for no reason.  Horatio Caine on CSI, Miami. I love all the CSI shows, and try not to miss a one, but is it just me or is this guy getting stranger every day? He is starting to act down right spooky. When he talks to anyone he slowly puts on his sun glasses, then  he slowly takes them off, hunches sideways and turns his shoulders slowly down at a side angle and tilts his head and neck in a most peculiar fashion, he then hesitates a long time before he speaks (I guess for dramatic effect) and then, whenever he does finally speak,  he hangs on to  every word as if he is deliverying the Wit or Wisdom of the God’s, then he just goes on to state what is the obvious, or attempts to say something cleverly humorous, and then silently stares back at you like he doesn’t have a clue. That buckaroo is really getting weird. Equally annoying is the actress  Emily Procter who plays the character, Calleigh Duquesne. She whines (a lot) and is obviously dumb as a rock and trys (too hard) to pose as an intelligent vital CSI team member. In real life she is probably as  true to her dyed blond roots as any typical dumb blond stereotype but comes across quite laughable when she is given some great scripts to make her appear so intelligent. Wow..now, I’m really sounding mean and petty, but not really, it’s just..I don’t why she annoys me so much ,  can’t figure it out. Maybe it is the whining, yeah, probably the whining,  or the “poser” thing again, that sets me off. Posers really set me off. You see, pet peeves, do not have to make any sense, they are just that , pet peeves. My husband goes off  the same way on NBC’s Nightline anchorman “Stone Phillips” Why? I don’t know. He says the name just ticks him off. He sarcastically refers to him as “Stony Boy” and then launches into a litany of complaints like, what the hell kind of a name is that? and pretty boy hasn’t aged very well, they should call him “saggy stony” I said, “what is the matter? did someone in your past life go gaw gaw over  him and you’re just jealous”? Is that it? He replies no. I just can’t stand him,  he tries to act all “Skip and Buff” with his yuppy Stone Phillips name and stuff. Oh well, Paula Zahn has that same effect on me. She cares more for personal attention and  a sensational headline than the pain and torment or suffering, that  many of her viewers are feeling and  facing  in times of great personal  tragedy. I find her actions despicable in that regard. My husband who is fluent in German just calls her Paula Teeth. The word Zahn means teeth in German. Oh well. In some odd way, that makes me feel better.

 Wow, I just got a lot off my chest. I think that should do me until the next time. Please don’t let this little cloud damper your day. I promise, it’s going to be a nice one. Until the next time. -j

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